sleepless *dawn*

it was around 1 o'clock this dawn...
i started to wake up because of my weird dreams...
i think i was haunted by my heart since i said that I'll court her yesterday...
but i failed to because my being "torpe" dominated once again...
T.T
i woke up then slept again...
around 2 o'clock, i woke up again...
i slept then dreamt another weird dream...
around 3 o'clock i woke up...
i didn't sleep till 4 o'clock..
i just kept writing her name in one notebook...
until i finally yawned then i went to sleep...

then i dreamt the weirdest dream of the all the dreams i dreamt in that dawn...
i saw her all alone standing near a cliff,
i wanna go near her but i can't move...
then i saw people coming from different directions approaching her...
then they carried her away...
i did nothing then i woke up...
i went back to sleep...
i dreamt again...

this time the setting was in IPI...
i saw her with Clare Galon...
then i was standing near them in the poolside...
Clare then left the two of us alone then the next thing i noticed was...
she was sitting next to me... i trembled in my dream (ngek)
i tried to talk but my mouth won't open...
then she left without a word...
she left behind a folder...
she wrote their:
"please keep all my confessions ..."
the letter was long but i can only recall that part...

i really am depressed why i didn't make a move...
such a an _____ T.T

Na alimongawan sa silingan,

Dodge

yesterday, patrice had her despedida party in IPI
it was a very tiring day...
i was suuuuuper tired!
but it was really worth it...
swimming, swimming and EATING yehey!
the pool ranged from 5ft to 8ft
even though i don't swim...
i really swam since it might be our last outing with patrice T.T
..........
until now, sakit gihapon akong mga mata ambot ug ngano mata...
ouchie.........

Nagluhaluha ang mata,

Dodge

a poem for her...

You're my Only Girl

Your name is sounding in my heart,

My heart is craving for you.

I want to be your life's part,

Permit me to stay with you.

I can't help myself from loving,

Your charm is hard to resist.

I want to express this intense feeling,

I'll never stop even how much you insist.

Moments with you are so memorable.

My love for you I can't control anymore.

Love is really unpredictable.

We don't know what the future has stored.

You're the only girl that I love this much,

I can't give any girl this love so much..........

really depressed...

some of my friends told me to stop tailing on that girl...
"move on ra gud... she doesn't have feelings for you anymore..."
i told them, "how i wish i can do it that easy"
others told me that if i really love her, fight for your love!
there was even one friend who told me that if I'm really serious for that girl then tell tell her that...
i told my friend that I'm really serious with her...

is our feelings for each others mutual?
i don't know... she told me that she has feelings for me but that was before...
ouch! how i wish i made my move before, she could be with me right now...
i told myself that maybe I'm just hallucinating that i'm the one she's now loving...

yeah i know i let my mind dominate me for all those years...
they said that i lost my brain because of love but now i lost my love because of my brain...

Nalibog sa gugma,

Dodge

my first bLog!

you may think i'm the kind of person who just sit in the corner with my reading materials, rosaries or sometimes talking, teasing, and laughing...

well think again, you're just seeing the cover of my life's real emotion...

i tell you, i may not look like one but honestly if not with my friends to laugh with, i think i'm so much more than an emo kind of guy...

you may seem think i'm always happy... think once more... i'm not showing the world how i really feel...

that's one of my weakness... i can't express my feelings right... especially to that girl whom i have given my whole heart yet doesn't even care...

i want to move on yet i can't easily tell that to myself coz i'm truly into her...

Nabuang sa gugma,

Dodge